Sunday, March 6, 2011

The BIGGEST DON'T in Friendship

RANDOMNESS
03/06/2011

The BIGGEST DON'T in friendship: Don't mistake KINDNESS to LOVE.
Once you commit that mistake, it will lead to a series of mistakes...

Mistaking KINDNESS to LOVE -> Falling in love to the MISINTERPRETED KINDNESS -> Nurturing obsession to the WRONG idea you're friend's in love with you -> Pressuring your friend to transform PLATONIC to ROMANTIC love -> Crossing beyond the BOUNDARY of friendship with no stronghold of MUTUAL love -> Trapping each other in a weak relationship of DISPARITY and INSECURITIES -> Tearing down the BOND with each other with NO HOPE of repair, no hope of reestablishing camaraderie... Forever END.

<A reflection of the hearty discussion I just had with my friend (T_T ) >


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flaming820
Davao Home
March 06, 2011
1:53 A.M.

Our Broken Journey to the Vast Blue Sky

LITERARY WORKS
01/16/2011

On the orange path we called life
I walked on together with you two
We didn't mind the narrow path,
all we could see was the vast blue sky

Afloat in our feathery fantasies,
suffocated in our own happiness,
none of us noticed the little thorns by the path
none of us noticed the cuts the wounds amidst our feet

Within the moment of smiles, I felt the mild pain
the little thorns piercing through my skin.
I looked at you two smiling at my left and right
Without thinking of you hiding your own pain
smiling, I played pretend everything's alright.

We walked far and yet it's not near
the vast blue sky of infinite dreams.
If alone, I would have stop to eradicate the thorns
and yet I worry, I will fail you of my delay.

If only I knew.. If only I noticed sooner...
You two also agonized the same pain.

But I didn't, and you two didn't
and so we walked on amidst secrets and pain.
Gradually forgetting, slowly neglecting
how we began and how we never wanted this to end.

Enduring and pretending,
we used our smiles to conceal the pain
and fancy fantasies to overlook the wounds.
Our feet don't even touch the ground anymore
in fear of thorns piercing deeper to our skin.

For a moment, I looked back
I see the fading footprints and memories behind us
Back then, I didn't mind them fading
Together we can make new footprints and memories
in the vast blue sky ahead.

Seeing and feeling your presence beside me
I face forward to our vast blue sky of dreams
I closed my eyes and breathed in the soft breeze.
Awakened, I found you two gone from my side.

At my left, at my right, I can't find either of you two.
All was still, all was silent, I can't see your smiles anymore.
I turned around, there are only the fading remnants of ours.
I desperately reached out but even those I can't obtain anymore.

I looked up ahead towards our vast blue sky
It has turned white, briskly turning dark..
Heavy clouds are covering our blue infinite dreams.
Rain began to pour.

The orange path ahead becomes muddy and black
staining dirt on my clear blue sky dreams.
Alone and confused, I move a step forward
instantly I fell down on the slippery mud.

Rain poured heavily on my downtrodden soul
drowning my confidence, hopes and dreams.
With no one to answer me here,
I wonder if you two are suffering the same abyss.

Rain pattered bitterly on my face
with a salty taste lingering on my lips
My disbelieving sight blurs amidst the tears and rain
The orange path.. OUR orange path disappears.

Tell me...
On this muddy ground in front of me,
Am I to make a new path towards the vast blue sky..
Alone?


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flaming820
Bansalan home
January 16, 2011
1:08 A.M.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Tribute to the late Dennis Jimenez

TRIBUTE
02/22/2011

[February 25, 1982 - February 17, 2011]
the 2nd cousin I didn't had a chance to know sooner...

He died as a son to my auntie Julia & uncle Tito, an elder brother to my 2nd cousins, a husband, a father, a friend, and most of all, as my 2nd maternal cousin I didn't had or took a chance to know before his death...

Seeing his pale and mildly gashed face beyond the glass pane of his casket was I think my very first to see him up-close. Unfortunately, I don't have the chance anymore to say "Hello" or get to know him better. He's gone. It's far too late, even for me to learn to call him "Kuya Dennis". The least I could do was to get acquainted with who he was in the form of anecdotes I hear from my fortunate relatives who had a chance to know Kuya Dennis or "Den-den" as they fondly call him.

The one anecdote of him that I find most unforgettable was the one I've heard years ago. I didn't know it was actually him 'til I heard it again on his funeral.

During a funeral of one of our relatives, Kuya Dennis [then at high school] noticed a girl of the same age and started to have a crush with her. He excitedly points her out to one of his aunties and revealed he has a huge crush on her. To everyone's surprise, the girl he pointed out was "Ate Pearlyn" [my first cousin] who is actually his own 2nd cousin, a daughter of his mother's cousin. [sfx *broken heart*]

My auntie kept saying if Kuya Dennis didn't tell them sooner, he might have really fallen for her not knowing they were actually cousins. I thought too myself, 'Whooh~ I could meet this people somewhere, and I wouldn't even know they are actually my cousins.' Sad but possible.

With the framed pictures atop his casket, he reminds me of my brother FigenZ-niisan's outgoing and sociable nature. He has the same carefree medium-length hair that my brother used to have back on his high school & I.T. college days. Almost the same happy-go-lucky grin that conveys a friendly and "Count me in!" attitude. Too bad though, I couldn't see it for myself in live-action.

From a paternal 'japanese-descent' family, Kuya Dennis had been working in Japan with his father and siblings. Up to this day, I've always wondered if he could speak fluent Nihonggo. I didn't had a chance to ask. Ultimately, thanks to my timid attitude, I didn't even take the chance to know his siblings either. *big sigh*

He died on a motorcycle [freak] accident.
He was on his way back to his home in Inawayan from Astorga when he collided with another motorist from another direction. The other motorist was said to have been drunk and troubled with family matters. He must have been overspeeding to escape from reality a bit, but got more than he wanted and sacrificed more than he is warrant to. The other motorist, like Kuya Dennis, was also on vacation from work in Japan. Ironic.

What's more ironic, after Kuya Dennis' burial while my family and I were on our way home from Toril, we came across 2 separate motorcycle accidents. Just happened a minute away from our arrival to the scene. The arrogant motorists from one accident had even overtaken us earlier before we came across their accident to see one of them on the ground, face bloody. From the burial to our way home, it was like being reminded 3 times how bloody dangerous it is to be reckless on the road especially with motorcycles.
Now I fear more than ever of my brothers ever having their own motorcycle.

To the family and friends of Kuya Dennis, I offer my utmost condolences.
To Kuya Dennis, how'd I wish you shouldn't have gone sooner but even after your death, I still have a lot to thank you with.

During your funeral 'til burial, I realized quite some things especially about my relations with others. Time is precious that we couldn't just push and say "reset" everything; we can't "reset" our relationship with others esp. with our loved ones. On your burial when they shoveled earth over you, I realized it's "Game Over" with you; no chance to be friends with you anymore. But to others, I do still have and I shouldn't waste it...

I became better 1234Pass & Chikicha [cardgame] friends with our other cousins: Arnel, JC and Raquel during a night-til-dawn funeral vigil. [I wonder when can we play again?] I became acquainted with "Uncle Smile", my mother's guitar mentor and even got a souvenir from him: his handmade blackheart guitar pick! [Sankyuu!] I even felt closer with my Aunts and Uncles [how? Heehee- My little secret]. I wouldn't have had a chance; all these because of you.

Kuya Dennis...
Hello, thank you, and farewell!!!
[Hajimemashite, sankyuu, to sayonara!!!]


Period: 02/20/2011 - 02/21/2011

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flaming820
Bansalan home
February 22, 2011
09:35 P.M.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I had a childhood dream...

RANDOMNESS
01/30/2011


I had a childhood dream...

I have always been an avid reader even before I could learn to read...
Thanks to my mother's persistence, I learned to read, way ahead than my kindergartner classmates after a month of sickly absence...
At such a young age, I decided that my ultimate dream is to read ALL the books in the world. I would travel around the world, tour many bookshops here and abroad, and visit many libraries to find all the books I could and read them...
Then I discovered school textbooks.
I threw my dream away.
-THE END-



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flaming820
Bansalan home
January 30, 2011
10:55 P.M.